21 December 2010

What's with the No's???

Hello peeps. How are you? Enjoying the Christmas festivities I hope? It's been so long again hey? But that's ok, it happens. We all have other things going on in our lives. I bet you've all been abit busy too. I seem very stressy at the moment and maybe even a little bit messy. Not because of all the christmas stuff, but more because of my darling little two and a half year old, who at the moment seems to be in training for her teenage years!


Yes she may in deed look ever so cute here, a picture of domestic bliss making mince pies in her Santa hat, but underneath it all there lurks a monster who hits me, doesn't do as she is told and who's only word is NO! And not just a little no either, but a big fat defiant NO! What's happening? This wasn't part of the master plan! I'm finding all this Tom Fool-ery very unsettling.


It's just a phase I'm sure. Isn't that what we mums say. But when will it end? How can I react appropriately? Have we been too soft doing the whole reasoning, explaining and ignoring the bad behaviour method of parenting?


I've tried raising my voice but this seems to just encourage her more. She seems to get this "right, scrap on" look about her when I do that.


Of course some might say she needs a damm good smack but we decided this is a definate NO NO for us. Anyhow how can you expect a child to learn not to hit by hitting?


I'm sure it'll work out ok. It's just sad to see. If anyone has any divine intervention they'd like to share, it'll be very gratefully received otherwise I might just offer her to Santa when he pops down the chimney, I'm sure she'd make a good little elf, it's just me she has issues with. Happy Christmas all. Hope your little helpers are being good boys and girls.

5 comments:

delia hornbook said...

O Mate my heart went out to you reading this. When ever she hits you or speaks rudely send her to to the naughty step for 2 mins or chair dont speak to her or look at her ( super nanny says how ever old she is, is how long she sits there for) If she gets up you sit her back down. When she has done her time you explain how her bad behavior made you feel. Keep doing this each time. Praise the good behavior but never the bad. I did this with both my boys and believe me it works. Get hold of re runs of super nanny the tv programme and my god you will see it work there. Hang in there it will improve the joys of being a mummy ;-)) Love and hugs to you xxxx

Lisa said...

I know I haven't got kids (which is what most mums say when I offer advice - but the outside does see a hell of a lot of the game!) but I have spent a LOT of time in classrooms, youth groups, and babysitting young kids (from babies on up) ... so ... if you're not happy to smack ... naughty corner (or bedroom if that's easier, just make sure toys all away, out of reach) or time out will probably be your only option there - which is not to say that it doesn't work, 'cause it does ... it's just that yes, this is a developmental phase (learning limits etc) that all kids go through (it's not called the terrible twos for nothing - and it's not always at two either) so basically you just have to ride it out and be consistent with your punishments. She's a smart girl she'll work it out fast enough if mum and dad are tough enough :)

Anonymous said...

Oh Claire, don't feel like you are at all alone in this phase - Kade is just the same & I've asked the same questions - did I not do enough in the discipine area (we don't even do time out - just sometimes remove him from a situation until he calms down)?? But in the past few months (even since Josie's arrival) he's showing signs of growing up & I really think that distraction and making a big deal out of praising the good (ignore the bad if you can) helps. At times the monster he can be retreats & he shows such consideration & kindness towards his little sister so I feel really reassured that SOME of what I am trying to teach him gets through!! I love the books Toddler Tactics by Pinky McKay & The Good Behaviour Book by William Sears (and you can borrow if you like!) - they really encourage respectful parenting & aren't at all prescriptive (as in, you MUST do this...). Good luck, Kel xxx P.S. I will call to organise a catch up one day soon!!

Lisa said...

One thing i have heard over the years re ignoring the bad ... from teachers (and speaking as having worked in schools and as a child of two infants / primary teachers) ... if you're going to praise the good you need to explain why the bad is bad otherwise there will be issues with being told 'no' later on at pre-school, school etc, at a time when they're learning so many other things ....

Seaweed and Raine said...

I know what you are talking about... I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old...
As both a parent and a primary teacher, I would have to agree with most of what has already been said. Asside from that, there are a few books that are helpful...
This is one of them
http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Children/dp/1881273652
Give me a yell if you are interested in more.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...